I've become a grumpy old man who abhors both fun and pleasure, and I DO apologize in advance for this, but I'm going to grouse here for a couple of minutes.
I'm sitting here at the McDonald's at the intersection of Libadiye and Bulgurlu avenues. As I sit here, fruitlessly feuding with TTNET wifi (think about the difficult days of ATT at Starbucks, then square it), my chest is vibrating from the bass of some Friday night at the "no cameras allowed" club trance music. Even if you're not American, you can still let your inner freak out: The lyrics are in English, Spanish, French, and Portuguese.
And since I'm a something of a linguist, I can wholly assert that the sum total of the lyrics in said music in every language amounts to this: "I want to commence the acts of intercourse with you in the way of an animal, here in this precise location, without even the slightest moment's hesitation."
Here's the thing: In the States, even at those rush week SAE frat parties, no matter how explicitly Curtis Jackson could twist the English language, people seemed to be able to take things indoors before they got beyond the need for Parental Guidance. But here, in the center of this conservative neighborhood, the commands of the foreigners chanting to this computer cadence appear to be working. With great success.
Two couples (in their early twenties and old enough to know of some more relaxing places) are, to put it mildly, giving action to their primal desires.
I'm not talking about a kiss that lingers just long enough to brush the boundaries of appropriate behavior. They're full on cleaning each other's faces, pushing to the point of asphyxiation, hiding hands from here to hereafter. I'VE BEEN HERE FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES AND THEY HAVE YET TO STOP.
Until next time…
After roughly half an hour, the four people left.
…Only to return five minutes later with coffee and man their previous stations. Then get impatient and move to the Playplace. NOW I know why my mom always told me they were too dirty to play in. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mom.
Let me know in the comments if I should come back here every afternoon and live-tweet the action in REEL3DHD!
A Disappointing Year
2 weeks ago