Jan 25, 2011

Rock n' Roll McDonald's

I've become a grumpy old man who abhors both fun and pleasure, and I DO apologize in advance for this, but I'm going to grouse here for a couple of minutes.

I'm sitting here at the McDonald's at the intersection of Libadiye and Bulgurlu avenues. As I sit here, fruitlessly feuding with TTNET wifi (think about the difficult days of ATT at Starbucks, then square it), my chest is vibrating from the bass of some Friday night at the "no cameras allowed" club trance music. Even if you're not American, you can still let your inner freak out: The lyrics are in English, Spanish, French, and Portuguese.

And since I'm a something of a linguist, I can wholly assert that the sum total of the lyrics in said music in every language amounts to this: "I want to commence the acts of intercourse with you in the way of an animal, here in this precise location, without even the slightest moment's hesitation."

Here's the thing: In the States, even at those rush week SAE frat parties, no matter how explicitly Curtis Jackson could twist the English language, people seemed to be able to take things indoors before they got beyond the need for Parental Guidance. But here, in the center of this conservative neighborhood, the commands of the foreigners chanting to this computer cadence appear to be working. With great success.

Two couples (in their early twenties and old enough to know of some more relaxing places) are, to put it mildly, giving action to their primal desires.

I'm not talking about a kiss that lingers just long enough to brush the boundaries of appropriate behavior. They're full on cleaning each other's faces, pushing to the point of asphyxiation, hiding hands from here to hereafter. I'VE BEEN HERE FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES AND THEY HAVE YET TO STOP.

Until next time…


After roughly half an hour, the four people left.

…Only to return five minutes later with coffee and man their previous stations. Then get impatient and move to the Playplace. NOW I know why my mom always told me they were too dirty to play in. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mom.

Let me know in the comments if I should come back here every afternoon and live-tweet the action in REEL3DHD!

Jan 17, 2011

Moving Day!

I've been suspended in agony for days now. Even in spite of my jet lag I was losing sleep last night.

Because today is moving day.

We're going to be in a great spot- we'll be able to see the ferries crossing to and from Europe through our window- but first we have to get all of our stuff there.

And what, you ask, does that entail?

DRIVING a fifteen passenger van full of our stuff from here to there. Through 11.5 kilometers of randomly turning, two-way suddenly one-way, stop and go, honk or hit traffic. Drivers routinely stop their cars in the roadway, throw open their doors, punch other drivers in the face, then angrily (merrily?) continue on their way. And if anything goes wrong… what recourse do I have? I've got a foreign license, I'm not sure if I'm insured, any cops will want to believe all the stuff is illegally obtained:

"Dirty foreigner, where did you get all these foreign language books?"
"I swear, officer, I brought them from the States!"
"So did you declare them or are they ILLEGALLY IMPORTED?!?"

Wish me luck!

Jan 16, 2011

Jet Lag

Jet lag can be an expensive proposition.

It's 4 AM, and the heater is already running. It's been running nearly around the clock, since we forgot to turn it off before our 15 hour slumber the night before last.

Not to mention that I haven't given the lights their usual overnight rest.

I got about a page and a half of sleep last night. Bethany was trying to help me sleep by reading to me; I drifted off for a minute and woke more awake than I had been for the entirety of the previous day.

I just hope this means there's still some hope for me to one day permanently shed the need for sleep.