Good Ideas Led Astray

Today, Joe Biden announced plans to expand America's rail network. I'm REALLY excited-- there seems like no better way to both see the country AND travel than to take a train.

I was stoked all day, even being distracted by this great idea when teaching class until I realized that the new trains will still be part of Amtrak.

Yes indeed, Amtrak, the only transportation provider than can make the 80 mile trip to San Diego take eight hours, will be in charge of America's own "bullet trains". So basically these trains could go 700 miles and hour and STILL be two hours late.

On an oddly related note, Jimmy Fallon is on Late Night right now. He's about three months in, and this is about the third time I've tuned in. Let me tell you, it is a perfect storm of awful. Not only has the quality of his guests taken a cliff dive (from Justin Timberlake, Robert DeNiro, and Van Morrison on his premiere episode to LOST's Michael Emerson, some college QB, and an R&B singer who should have thought twice before ditching the pitch correction) but his apparently abysmal reception have left his producers scrambling for ways to improve the show.

Well, maybe they picked worse guests to make Jimmy seem cooler (I mean, I would never stand on the same side of the room as DeNiro), but they also told him to be even MORE of a suck-up. Does he know that he's the only one giggling like a girl when Ben tells how he realized he was the leader of the Others? Ugh.

Moral of the story: High speed trains and "Late Night" = good ideas (cf. Europe and Conan). Amtrak and Jimmy Fallon? Maybe Jimmy could start taking the train to work (and we could get a series of moderately funny hosts).